Societal Norms Kinda Suck

Welcome back everyoneeeee - or if it's your first time on my blog, hey! Today's post might be a bit rambly but I think that it's an important one and I hope that you read on till the end and thank you so much for clicking on this post in the first place!

From the moment we're born, we're identified as a male or a female, and we are given toys that correlate with that gender - girls will play with barbies and boys will play with trucks and cars, and girls wear pink, boys wear blue. After that stage we are put right into school. We, naturally, from media we grow up with and being in the school system learn judgement and separation, and learn this idea of 'cool', whatever the hell 'cool' is. We learn that and want to be it. But as we grow up we learn about consumerism, and I think that the younger ages in this world are getting onto the age of social media very soon. We think that likes equal validation, and followers mean that person must be 'cool'. And then we start buying clothes, to get more likes, to get more followers, to get validation, to be 'cool', and to play the game of society, the game that everyone else is playing. We see all these people having these awesome amazing lives online. We think it's so cool and fun and we want to be them, we want to be just like them so we buy the same clothes as them so that we might be happy. Because they just look so happy with all the stuff they have. And then, maybe we graduate, and we have a choice in what we want to do. Or if we don't know, we go into something that makes a lot of money, or maybe we neglect what we actually want to do to do something that makes more money than what we would ideally want to spend the rest of our lives doing. So, that's pretty much what we're born into, and I just think there's separation: separation between genders, separation between 'cool' people and not 'cool' people, the attractive people or the rich people and the less attractive or wealthy people. Our whole lives we're taught separation, we're taught that there is one way to be and that is that. 

A lot of people, just by society's norms and standards, think that they need a big house or think they need a lot of clothes to be happy, and think that we need to be on trend and all that stuff. But I think that is completely wrong! The biggest thing that I want to share today is that there is no one template for happiness. Whatever you want, whatever makes you content and happy and makes you smile, that is what you have to follow, that is what you have to chase. You have a gift within you and you cannot neglect it. You were born with something so special and the more you listen to what other people have to say about how you should live your life, the more you're neglecting that and the more silenced that gift will be. I feel like when we're young we all have these amazing ideas of what we want to be when we're older, and then we grow up and people start telling us that they're unrealistic or 'you won't make a lot of money doing that so you can't do that, I'm sorry. You can't be a vet because vets don't make a lot of money.' Then we grow up to live these unhappy lives because we spend our days doing a job that we don't enjoy, and then we're not giving as much joy to other people because we can't find it within ourselves. You need to find your own happiness first, whatever that may be.

Now, if I wanted to pursue something that I needed, and if I wanted to be a nurse or doctor it would definitely be worth it to suffer through school and pay the bills and do whatever if I really, truly wanted to be a doctor and save people's live, which is a very noble thing, and a lot of people do want to do that. It's completely worth it. But if you don't want to be a doctor and you're pressured into being a doctor, it's not worth it, it would be very miserable, you would be in a lot of debt. It would be harder to come up with ways to pay your debt back or to find happiness in every single day. To just go on, because you spent years of your life doing something that you didn't want to. No-one can say why we're here, you gave your life it's own meaning, so you're not here just to make money. We have to step back from this matrix of a society and begin to listen to ourselves, but do it in a smart way. Not everyone who goes against society or lives minimal lives or does what they love is a social outcast living in the woods, driving vans and smoking weed. Not everyone who lives life for themselves are like that. I think there are a lot of people who are in normal jobs who are very content, but I think there are a lot of people who aren't. You gotta do what you love, you can't neglect the gift that you were born with, it's just so important! It's not an easy thing, and I know that I'm privileged. But I'm going to use that privilege to spread a positive message and to do the best that I can. To try to blur the lines a little bit of the separation that this society promotes, separation between gender and class and style.

I think that for years everyone has thought that living life had to be a certain way. No-one really knows what they're doing. Maybe someone's template to happiness works for them but that doesn't mean it's going to work for you. We all have to take a step back, just silence everyone out. Silence all of the pressure, really listen to ourselves and listen to our hearts and what the universe is trying to tell us, and listen to what we truly want out of this life, and think about the kind of lives that we want to live. I can say that for me, in the future, I do want to live a very minimalistic life. I don't want to have a huge mansion with a huge staircase and a bunch of empty rooms. I don't want to promote any messages of needing things. I know that I have a fashion blog and I'm always showing you guys clothes that I buy. But I think - I hope - that I've done a pretty good job of showing that you don't have to follow the trends, that you can put whatever the hell you want together and make a really cool outfit. That's why I love fashion - I just love making people think 'wow, that is a weird combination going on there, I would never think to put that together'. It's really an art and it's so fun and it's my way of expressing myself. It's not because I want to impress anyone. If people want to waste their energy judging me, fine, it's only hurting them.

I don't think anyone feels like they need to go shopping or buy a bunch of stuff right after they read my blog, but I just wanted to let you know that's not the reason I love fashion and it's not to fill some void or something. It's something that makes me really, really happy and I want to keep doing it in my life. I just want to promote ethical brands, ethical shopping. I don't want anyone to suffer because of clothing. The way that learning about fast fashion made me feel was the same way I felt learning about veganism, and that was that we are very selfish. We don't need 52 seasons of clothes, we don't need all these new lines of clothes every single year, and at such cheap prices. We don't need all of this excess, when it causes so much suffering. So many people died last year because of unsafe factory conditions, and people are just suffering and living horrible, sad lives and getting paid $2 a week because we want cheap clothing. That makes me really sad, that breaks my heart. I don't want to add to any more suffering in this world because I think that the animals suffer enough and human beings are suffering enough because they're stuck in these patterns or stuck in a bad environment.

There is just such a big problem in this world with consumerism. It's normal, it's normal to always be buying stuff. It's normal to buy into new trends and get rid of stuff even when it's still good clothing. We get rid of jackets, good clothes, good shoes just because they go out of style, not because we can't wear them anymore, not because they're not decent pieces of clothing. Just because we've moved onto the next trend and that is very normalised. I watch Kylie Jenner's snapchat story, and every time I watch it I just feel so sad. I'm always thinking that people who have money and have all this stuff will realise that there's so much more to it, and there are some people like Jim Carey. Jim Carey said, "I think everyone should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer,". What I want, what I truly want when I'm older, is to live in a house full of love, with daffodils and roses and tulips growing in the garden, and I just want to walk on the dirt barefoot and feel the trees and watch them growing every single day. I want my kids to walk around barefoot in our garden and dance every single morning.

I want to be able to work towards a goal every day but be content with where I am, because the journey is the most exciting part and you're learning everything that you will know in the future, right now. I don't want anything except for my health and and my ability and experiences and positive moments. I want to be here, now, in this moment because this is the most important moment. There's no point in reaching towards something and always fantasising about something in the future, when the only moment and the only time you can do something about it is right now and every single day after this. Every single day I'm improving and every single day I'm trying to do something positive and trying to spread a message. Trying to do the best that I can and have the best impact on this world that I can and that means so much to me. Overall, I just want you to do what feels right for you and to listen to your gift and to pursue your gift. Even if it's not possible for you to do that 100% but to still take the time to nurture yourself and to do what makes you really happy. Sometimes you have to take a step back from society, and I think last year we came such a long way with people being more real on YouTube, more real on social media, more real with body positivity, more real with mental health. Mental health is something I'm really prioritising this year, because in previous years I've put other things before. I'm documenting how I feel more often, my ups and downs. Even when I'm sad I'm still happy that I'm alive and it's just a feeling, it's just a physical presence, just an anxiety that's there. But overall I still feel how much of a gift that this life is. I'm also meditating more. I dipped in and out of it last year, but now I can just zone in and feel the sound of the wind and the birds and feel really blissful. I've had some very low lows and didn't tell anyone for a long time, and I need spirituality. People who have been sad can feel so much pure happiness because they have felt such deep levels of pain, and this is how I visualise it, that it has left cracks inside them or really opened them up to such a deep part of life that when they're happy, the happiness fills all those deep fractures within them. It's true, deep happiness, just as deep as the sadness was. The happiness has replaced it and made such a deeper impact than those who have maybe always been content or have had little pitfalls, but people who have fallen really deep down, those deep holes just get filled with so much light and happiness. I feel so connected to this earth and to being alive, and not ashamed of any sadness that I've felt or feel, because I know that if I have felt this way that there is someone else on this earth who has felt the same way.

I think that the whole YouTube and blogging community has really come a long way in just being more honest about things. On instagram people have been posting more nudes and I think that's awesome, just showing their normal body, not photoshopped. The only thing that I can do is spread a positive message myself and that's what I want to do. I just think it was a really good year for people being honest and people learning about veganism and learning about gender norms, gender stereotypes and gender fluidity, sexual fluidity. I'm really proud of how far that we've come. I really want to spread more of this love and more of this acceptance and non-judgement. Judgement separates us so much and I think that we should all be working together instead of against each other. But overall, do what makes you happy, cause the least harm that you possibly can, and don't be ashamed of yourself, don't compete with others. Listen to your gift. We were all born with a gift. Find it, listen to it, pursue it. Make this world a better place.

I try to live my life as if the societal norms didn't exist. There really aren't any rules to this life. Just don't hurt anyone. So I try to live my life with that mindset, there are no real restrictions to what I want to do except for the ones that I put on myself. That just makes life really your own, definable by your own standards and I think that's really important for everyone to do. That's all I have for this post, and if you made it this far I just wanted to say thank you so much. I can't believe that I have met so many understanding, connected, beautiful, empowered people! I am shocked that I have found so many amazing people. Thank you for supporting me, I really appreciate you for existing and for struggling and for believing in yourself, and for loving yourself.